If you want to read about real extremists, though, you should Google “freegan” and “ascetic” to see learn about those groups. I am neither, and neither of those groups would count me as a member. That being said, I have nothing against these groups and support people’s choices to live however they wish. It doesn’t hurt me in the least.

Which, brings me back to my main point — it’s okay if your definition of an unclutterer and mine are different. Being different is a good thing. It makes the world a rich place to live.

Finally, the first few months of Unclutterer’s history, I didn’t even work here. I think many of your complaints aren’t even with my writing, but with Jerry’s, Matt’s or other team members. I, obviously, wrote this post, but I don’t think this is the one you have the biggest problem with based on your comments. Again, we all have different view points on uncluttering, and each person views it differently. It’s okay if you don’t agree with everything we write.

Yes, I hated the baby swing because it was in the way. That doesn’t mean that it was “clutter” or that I was relaxing my standards because I didn’t toss it! It never would have occurred to me in my wildest dreams to label it clutter–because clutter is, by definition, extraneous and purposeless. And while I’m glad to pack everything away again, I’m not getting rid of it until I know I’m done with kids–if you have the physical space to keep such things out of the way, doing otherwise is simply wasteful.

You’re going beyond “uncluttering” into something else–a place where you’re throwing away things that you love and that make you happy and aren’t interfering in any way; a place where something truly useful becomes “clutter” in your mind; a place where decluttering is an end and not a means. Purging for the sake of purging isn’t any healthier than keeping for the sake of keeping. Both are the externalization of a need to control one’s environment, and both are adding baggage to something that shouldn’t be so dramatic.

You write in defensiveness every couple of months about “hate mail” you get from people who say you think you’re better than other people, etc. When I first began reading, I projected my own feelings about “life clutter” onto you and was wholly on your side. The longer I read, though, and the more of your back-posts I read, the more I began leaning toward the view of your critics. And yes, I do read a number of other organization blogs, and each has its own tone (I suspect that half Jeri Dansky’s enjoyment of organization is the pretty containers she can use!) and its own bent, but this is the only one I get the sense from that the act of decluttering–not even organization, per se, but decluttering–is more important than the result.

Just because it’s the first time I’ve posted doesn’t mean I haven’t been reading for a long time. This posts, though, epitomized everything that has bothered me about your blog for a long time. While it’s nice to have a blog from a “naturally messy” neat person, as I am, too, if it veers too far in the other direction toward compulsive purging, it will cease to be useful.

You act like “uncluttering” is some sort of virtue–ditching a cup that you love, or giving your kids only ten toys. I think you’ve gone through clutter and out the other side to an unhealthy fixation on your “decluttered” life as a source of affirmation and spiritual sustenance. That’s not any healthier than not being able to throw out something you really, really don’t want because it was great-grandma’s.

A message for you and a growing number of your readers:

Moderation. Try it. You don’t have to ditch everything that it isn’t spiritually worthy of you. (“Does it represent the highest me?” SERIOUSLY?) The purpose of decluttering isn’t to reach decluttered nirvana but to create a more functional and aesthetic life. For some people, believe it or not, that still means what I’d consider to be a LOT of stuff. For others, that means very few personal belongings at all. A person who throws away more, though, doesn’t become a better person through the act of purging.

The mere fact that you’d think of your kid’s favorite toy as “clutter” indicates that you’ve slipped far into bulimic decluttering.

Exceptions to our uncluttered-ness are the violins. I allow them to be out and available because it’s much easier to practice, even for three minutes, if you can see and reach your violin on it’s shelf! (our players are me, the 7 yr old, the 4 yr old and the 3 yr old. Now if only I could get my husband to help me install those built-in bookcases! Cheers! and enjoy the jumpy phase. It won’t last!

This exception is probably for to do with laziness but I guess I’ve been letting it go because I feel like there are more important things to be doing.

When I’m finished working on all of my websites, projects, garden, marketing course and everything else on my to do list I’ll get to it….

Maybe some time in the next ten years or so.

My baby blanket was mistakenly thrown away by a friends housekeeper at a sleepover, but it was probably time to stop sleeping with it

FYI: My room was immaculate and tidy and there was no junk or excess. (Didn’t have that much but a few things that mattered very, very much to me.)

For any parents reading this, once your kids are over the toddler age, they are old enough for you to consider their feelings. And if your kids are in their teens, please, do not just go into their rooms and toss stuff. Show some respect…or be prepared for the consequences, which can last a lifetime. Seriously.

Think about how you’d feel if your kids decided to go through your stuff while you weren’t around and just toss it. Just because kids have not yet left the house does not mean you own their property.

If you’ve got problems or issues, including safety ones, then have a discussion.

And for spouses who are neatniks with spouses with clutter tendencies…do not even think of throwing stuff out without permission. I can’t think of something that shows less respect. I’ve witnessed both male and female spouses toss stuff with no regard for the owner’s feelings. It’s not pretty folks and it is so disrespectful. We’re adults here and should be treated as such.

The bottom line is to let your child be the one to decide what s/he is ready to get rid of in order to make space for the new. Train the kid to be self-uncluttering… though during the teen years, you just might have to settle for “keep it all in YOUR room and keep the door closed at all times.” But they outgrow that, never fear.

We rotate toys, and ones that are outgrown or have lost interest go into a dated box. At birthdays and Christmas, boxed items are selected for donation to charity. Our son makes all the decisions, but he knows that something has to go when something new comes in.

There’s a lot to be said for something that amuses and contains your child at the same time. Particularly once the child becomes otherwise mobile. The loss of the jumperoo might not distract you, but your son certainly will.

Just about any kid’s toy is likely temporary. That said, consider not getting rid of it till you decide whether you want more kids. (There are those who keep such things *because* they decided they didn’t want more kids, as insurance.)

For kids, I think a once a day cleanup is a good balance between allowing creativity and play on the one hand, and keeping tidy and developing good habits on the other. How are you supposed to learn to combine colors if you only get one crayon at a time? To create mixed media art if you can use only one set at a time? To invent something new, if you think of a new way to combine things but your parent won’t let you work with both at the same time?

She did the same with our Star Wars toys, which were always neatly put away in a closet, so it’s not like they were clutter. I would have loved to have had those for my boys, they adore Star Wars.

So yes, if it’s time to declutter toys (i.e. there are toys the kids really, really don’t play with anymore, and cannot be saved for the next generation), let the kids in on it, and work with them. Don’t just toss stuff and let them find out later.

And please don’t toss security blankets!

Anyway, I just wanted to give Erin the heads-up to avoid one parental pitfall, as much as possible, while she’s still early on in the game. Bet she never knew she’d get a cheering section when she started doing this blogging thing!