Secondly, have you had a loving and candid conversation with your mother? Does she know how you feel? Does SHE perceive it the way you do (as a problem)? That’s the first thing to establish.

Has she always been this way or did something trigger this pattern? You say she is “financially conservative” yet with five closets full of clothes, she must spend a ton of money. She must also donate a lot of stuff if her house continues to stay manageable and it isn’t overrun with clutter. Where does all the stuff go that she buys? Eventually the house, attic and basement will fill up. Then what is her plan?

She may indeed be assuaging some sort of pain, sadness, or anger by acquiring new things but because it’s a temporary pain reliever, she has to KEEP shopping to keep her pain at bay. However, unless this behavior begins to be a problem for HER there is likely not much you can do about it — nor should you push it, in my opinion.

She’s an adult and it’s her life — as long as she is not in physical danger, you might want to release the anxiety YOU have about it and simply make a safe space in your relationship for her to come to you when she is ready. You want her to know you’re there for her *whenever* she is ready to make a change.

I frequent Op Shops / Charity shops now and again for cheap but ‘vintage’ stuff and if I make a bad buying decision at least I haven’t spent much and can just donate it right back. As I say “Make the Op Shop / Charity store your best friend!”

Claire McFee

This has saved me so many times I have lost count.

Another thing I do is make a list of items I want that I keep handy. That way, I can look at that list, and I am reminded I should save to get these items, like an iPod, or that new dress for my friend’s wedding, instead of spending nickels and dimes here and there on things I impulse buy, or do not really need.

It also makes a handy reference for people when they ask “whatcha want for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary?”

She lives alone and have five (yes, five!) closets full of clothes, most unworn. Yet the closets are neatly arranged by season and color.

She can certainly afford to spend the money and is financially conservative. She just shops constantly and yet is unhappy in so many ways. Am I just projecting my own decluttering needs onto her? I’d say I am, except for the anger and sadness I see in her…

The few times I go shopping for something other than groceries I usually go shopping when I am feeling stressed or want to reward myself. I’ve often looked back on purchases made on those trips with regret as I rarely purchase things I love when I do this. It took me many trips to realize why I end up shopping when I do and knowing why definitely helps curb impulse spending.

Strangely my love for lack of a cluttered, messy kitchen can sometimes lead me to grabbing some fast food rather than cook something from scratch and make a big mess of the kitchen so I have to remind myself of how overpriced fast food really is in comparison to a meal made at home to help me avoid hitting the drive through. I do the “how long will I have worked for this meal” question nearly every time I do this.

I can spend it all on one thing, or I can buy 50 things. In the interests of uncluttering, I’ll probably just buy a few higher-quality items. Whereas before, when I didn’t think about my spending in this way, I would buy a bunch of cheap things on impulse and feel guilty about it later.

I follow a rule: buy one, give away one. For every shirt I buy, I must give away an old one. Same for shoes, books and other stuff. That greatly helps control the shopping.