Unitasker Wednesday: Perfect Brownie

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Are you capable of baking brownies, but haven’t yet figured out how to use a knife? I understand. Electric mixers, rubber spatulas, and cracking eggs are easy, but cutting with a knife is unbelievably difficult! Lucky for you, there is now Perfect Brownie — the non-stick baking pan frame, pop-out bottom tray, metal slats, and metal slats guide to do the work for you!

Not convinced? Maybe this video will help:

Oh, hey, it’s my birthday, so you’re getting two Unitasker Wednesday posts today. My gift to you! And thanks to reader Sstasi for passing along this fabulous unitasker to us.

46 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Perfect Brownie”

  1. posted by Karyn on

    L. M. A. O. :-D Excellent catch this week, Erin! Even before I started reading your text, my first thought upon seeing the picture was, What? Why can’t you just use a knife? (Or maybe a thin-edged silicone/plastic substitute, if you’re worried about scratching your non-stick pan.) PLUS, baking the brownies with the dividers in the batter means that every brownie is going to be an “edge piece,” leaving all of us who go for the squooshy-sided “middle pieces” out of luck. :-(

    And Happy Birthday! Don’t know if you reach the big 4-0 today, but I can tell you that the years after 40 have been the best years of my life, by far, so look forward to it!

    *hands you a giant squooshy-edged brownie with a candle on it*

  2. posted by Bethany on

    Happy Birthday!

    You know, I *almost* want this unitasker so that every brownie could have the crispy edges!

  3. posted by Loren on

    My friend loves the edge pieces, and so do I. But she has this pan instead
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi.....tterer-20/
    At the rate she makes brownies (every week or so) it kind of makes sense (and when I visit her I certainly don’t mind).
    But pre-sliced? But what happens if you want a BIG brownie, or is you have over more than 12 people?
    Also Happy Birthday. :)

  4. posted by Lose That Girl on

    Happy Birthday!

    I know that contraption is ridiculous but boy do those brownies look delicious!

  5. posted by falnfenix on

    eh.

    i have one of these. it doesn’t take up much more space than a square cake pan, and i’ve used the pan for cakes…so…yeah.

    i normally laugh at these posts, but this at least has more than one purpose.

  6. posted by Krys on

    You know what’s REALLY funny? I saw this commercial the other day (admittedly, I was in a sleep deprived fog) and thought, “Hey, that’s really cool! I wouldn’t have to cut up the brownies anymore!”

    I talked myself out of it, once I realized I’d have to wash all the pieces, store all the pieces, and most of all, I KNOW HOW TO USE A KNIFE!

    Thanks for shining a light on this one, Erin!

  7. posted by Allison on

    Oh, that video is hilarious. Perhaps there’s a bigger problem than needing a brownie cutter when your brownies look like cement in the pan!

    Happy birthday!

  8. posted by Anita on

    Happy Birthday, Erin!

    And thanks for posting this. I’m with Karyn — if anything, I’d like to have fewer edge pieces in my brownies, not more!

    Maybe using a knife is indeed a lost art? :P

  9. posted by Peter (a different one) on

    First – Happy Birthday Erin : )

    Secondly – I thought this was a unitasker and silly until I watched that video, I mean, the excitement on the little girls face, I mean c’mon. Then, I saw that you can make Rice Crispie squares with it too, and don’t forget Grandma’s Apple Pie squares. Oh and it’s a serving tray!!!

    OT – my sister-in-law make rice crispie squares and doubles the marshmallows in the recipe – 2 DIE 4!!!!

  10. posted by Celeste on

    I knew about the special pan for getting more edge in brownies. I like the edge best, too. But I just use my muffin pans. They bake faster, too.

  11. posted by Rue on

    Happy birthday!

    Am I the only one who DOESN’T like the edges of brownies? Cos it sure seems like it! Lol. I think this pan would be good if you had to bake a crapload of brownies (easier to pop ‘em out and dump ‘em on a plate than to spend the time trying to cut them in even squares and dig them out of the pan). But for your average baker, not useful.

  12. Avatar of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Rue — I don’t like brownie edges either. I prefer gooey, middle of the pan, fudgey brownies. I also love being able to cut a giant brownie out of the middle of the pan. The brownies in the video are way too cake-like, covered in “edges” and all the same size. They’re disrespecting brownies!! :)

  13. posted by brightsol on

    hey, i like that brownie thing!

  14. posted by Sylvia on

    I prefer the middle brownie, I have a pan that I get 9 squares out of and the one in the very center is the best!
    But if you like the edges, definitely re-purpose your muffin pan, every brownie will be all edge!

    For my square brownie pan I always use a bit of foil in the pan, this makes lifting them out a breeze and you’ll have easy access to cut them without ruining your pan.

  15. posted by Dawn F on

    Happy Birthday, Erin! …And many more!

    If they made just the slicer insert part to fit my regular square baking pan or my 9 X 13 baking pan then maybe I would snatch one up! But, my storage space is very limited for baking supplies/pans/utensils so having *another* pan wouldn’t be a good idea for me.

    Brownies… yum… :)

  16. posted by sharon on

    Happy Birthday!

    If I were making brownies to sell, I might like this. Then again, I prefer Baker’s Edge.

  17. posted by Glenn on

    I always love these types of videos with the people who appear to be so completely inept that they can’t perform even the most basic tasks. I want to see the same type of video for something like a new toilet paper dispenser that does all the work for you.

    Okay, that was wrong. Sorry. Kinda.

    In my experience these wonderful gadgets -the ones that rely on the magical non-stick surfaces – get more frustratingly worthless with each cook/wash cycle. Also, I hate the edge pieces.

  18. posted by Tara on

    Silly, but I would totally use that!
    Happy Birthday!

  19. posted by Karyn on

    @Erin – “I don’t like brownie edges either. I prefer gooey, middle of the pan, fudgey brownies.”

    Oh, good. I gave you the right brownie for your birthday, then. ;-)

    (I also like being able to cut my brownies much smaller than the large cake-like pieces in the ad above, so that they have minimal impact on my weight.)

  20. posted by Oonafey on

    ok, i’m sorry – but i really want one! Although I do like the middle gooey pieces…

  21. posted by Lindsay on

    I would totally use that! But only because I would just love every brownie to be an edge piece. :D (I do know how to cut brownies.)

  22. posted by SandyO on

    Thanks alot! Watching the video made me very hungry. I wouldn’t spend the $19.95 for another pan because I don’t bake much but I’d like some brownies right now. Good thing it’s starting to rain right now or I might go out to the bakery and buy some.

    And Happy Birthday, Erin.

  23. posted by Jennifer on

    I’ve seen this on QVC. Amazing how hard they try to create a need for this by making cutting brownies look soooo difficult.

    I love the muffin tin idea. Just like the brownie bites you can buy in the store.

    Happy Birthday, Erin! Hope you have a wonderful day.

  24. posted by Tiara on

    I didn’t watch the video, but this looks like a good pan for making mini-loafs of bread to give away at Christmas or for a bake sale.

  25. posted by Katherine on

    Happy Birthday!

    I keep one plastic knife in my utility drawer for just this purpose, it makes the perfect tool for cutting brownies and leaving the gooey insides… well, inside :)And it takes up much less space than yet ANOTHER pan…

    (just to weigh in, I prefer the edges too)

  26. posted by artgyrl on

    My 6 year old son saw this commercial and told me we needed one. It led to a long discussion (have you tried reasoning with a 6 year old and using the term “unitasker?” No? Fun!) about how we already HAVE a pan that we use for brownies, and we already HAVE a knife, and anything you want to make in individual little squares you can just use 2 pans and cut them up yourself, and why store a whole extra pan, etc, etc, etc.

    I hope that, over time, it sinks in, but until then I’m Tivo’ing and skip the commercials!

  27. posted by bud on

    Yeah, its not about the knife as much as it is about having crunchewiness on the edge of every brownie.

  28. posted by Kate on

    Katherine, I find a pizza wheel to be the best brownie slicer, keeps gooiness inside the brownies better than any knife I’ve used (though I’ve never tried plastic).

    Go team middle-of-the-pan brownies!

  29. posted by Caroline on

    Happy Birthday!! How lucky for us it is on a Wednesday! :)

    Cooler dry? Seriously? I use a pencil.

    I have seen the brownie thing at most big bakeries. It just makes it easier to turn our flat after flat of brownies without having to cut, and keeping your serving size the same etc. I might use this if I had several children over, and each one wanted the exact same size of brownie or else there is a meltdown. I do a lot of bake sales too, and this might make it easy to get the most out of your pans…

    but really, it is rather a clutterer for the kitchen, isn’t it? *looks for place to store it when not in use and gives up*

  30. posted by Sara on

    My husband’s grandmother told me about this last week. She was so excited and said I would love it. To be honest… I kind of do think it’s useful. A unitasker, sure I guess, but I see the value in it. It can be difficult to cut brownies, at least good gooey ones, because they stick to the knife and the insides get dragged out as you pull the knife across the pan. By the time you’ve cut up 12 or 16 brownies, it’s a mess. If it’s really non-stick and works like they say, I think it’s pretty clever.

  31. posted by Suzanne on

    I laughed that it’s marketed only for brownies because I thought about other ways to use it…such as any food I wanted mini-sized, like meatloaf, bread, etc. I did like the pop-up serving tray part of it too. :-)

  32. posted by Chris G. on

    Happy Birthday, Erin!

    I love the idea of this brownie pan. Sorry, I love everything about it. I know, I know…

  33. posted by Ange on

    I’m such a perfectionist, this actually appeals to me! :b (That & I hate marring my non-stick pans, so I have to use a nebulously-helpful plastic knife.)

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you had imperfectly cut brownies to celebrate! :)

  34. posted by Jessica on

    Ohh Erin, I was fine about poking fun of it… until you showed the infomercial! :'( I’m a sucker for informercials. Thankfully one of the things I decluttered out of my apt: THE TELEVISION :D No more temptation, but PLEASE, no more informercials on Unclutterer.

  35. posted by Yodder on

    Hippo Bird Date Two Ewe!

  36. posted by gail gray of a fresh start professional organizing on

    Hey Leo! My B-Day is tommorrow. I love your unitaskers, but at one point I wanted to invent something like this. I wanted it to be used though after the baking (hence still having the gooey center squares) but when entertaining, it would be nice to have presentable brownies, not the ones that look like they were ripped out of the pan. Guess it is the wanna be Martha in me. When you have to bake for a bake sale, you actually want to put out something that looks good enough to eat!

    I agree it is a unitasker, but if you are a perfectionist, you might make room for it!

    Hope you had a great birthday!

  37. posted by SueB on

    Happy b’day, Erin, and many happy returns of the day!
    grin4U … see –

    Every once in a while your unitasker Wednesday posts appeals to me, and this one made me think of cornbread … I love the tops of the muffins and the edges of both cornbread and brownies so I did a double-take – TFS! You’ve probably done a post on those muffin top tins already, eh?!

  38. posted by Jen on

    Does anybody else think the “serving tray” function is likely to make a mess of the oven?

    I would never buy this regardless of whether I liked the edge or the center, but mmmm… I never would have thought of a banana split brownie. That would be delicious if I could eat chocolate. :(

  39. posted by Albert on

    As an edge brownie supremacist (EDGE POWER!), I like this product. There’s never enough edge pieces. Death to squishy edges!

  40. posted by Jessiejack on

    It’s funny but this product really appeals to me because I am a perfectionist and love the idea of symmetric straight edge brownies!

  41. posted by Chris M on

    I came to say what Katherine mentions above – if you use a plastic knife it cuts brownies perfectly without any sticking to the knife – easy on the pan too. I read it as a tip on the back of a brownie mix once and have never looked back.

  42. posted by Sheryl on

    Edges on every single piece! It’s amazing for brownie edge lovers. Not so much for those who are middle lovers.

  43. posted by Amanda on

    I actually want one of these for the abundance of brownie edges. Yum!!

  44. posted by sara on

    Thanks for picking my unitasker! I actually signed up for delicious just so I could show you this one, it was so awesome.

  45. posted by Michele on

    Sorry, but I have to disagree with this being a unitasker that we make fun of. Why? BECAUSE THE BROWNIES ARE FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Yes, I have one of these. I got it for Christmas. It indeed does make perfect brownies. The commercial makes it look ridiculous, but it is totally worth it.

    The pan is slightly smaller than a 9×13, so the brownies bake up higher and are a perfect size. Contrary to what it might look like, it doesn’t give the brownies crusty edges, it just makes them look like the fancy ones you might buy at a bakery (all perfect and glistening on the edges).

    Another cool thing is that you can decorate each brownie separately (fun for kids to know that’s “their” brownie), and the toppings don’t bleed over.

    It is great for portion control because the brownies are already cut for you so they always make the same number (you’re not “accidentally” cutting one edge a little smaller then “oops!” having to eat it to even them off).

    And the best thing is how the bottom drops out to reveal perfect sides. This is great for bake sales or just to look nice. If you are making pans of brownies to devour yourself in your home, alone, that’s one thing. But when I make them, they are usually for something/someone, and why not let them look nice?

    Of course you can use muffin mix (oh my goodness delicious), cake mix, cornbread, etc etc etc.

    I can think of a lot worse ways to spend $20! I highly recommend this pan!!!!

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