Unitasker Wednesday: USB microwave

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker is specifically for our England-based readers. Sure, you’re across the pond, but that doesn’t seem to keep you free from lovely items such as:

Yes, it’s a USB microwave from Heinz. The Beanzawave is perfect for the office worker who is chained to his desk:

The mini-micro has been designed by microwave expert Gordon Andrews and Stephen Frazer, an authority on industrial design and managng director of Frazer Designers.

Apart from its size, the key breakthrough is the use of a combination of mobile phone radio frequencies to create the heat to cook both on the outside and within in under a minute.

Mr Andrews, the managing director of GAMA Microwave Technology, said it is possible to ‘tune’ the radio-frequencies to provide the best results with any small product.

‘It is possible to heat a pie, a burger, a cup of soup or tea in quick time,’ he said.

‘There is the option of powering it with lithium ion batteries that would make it completely portable, which would be a help to fishermen, campers or sportsmen.’

I don’t know what is creepier, the fact that a worker doesn’t have enough time to leave his desk to eat a meal or that this thing cooks using mobile phone radio frequencies. Well, um, thankfully it’s not yet for sale and only looking to be manufactured in England.

Special thanks to my college pal Adam at Serious Eats for giving me a head’s up about this product.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Posted by Erin on Jun 17, 2009 | Comments | Tweet This

40 comments posted

  1. Posted by FrugalNYC - 06/17/2009

    Wow, I would not want to be the one chained to my desk that much! I’m betting someone will get this though. Wouldn’t the microwave interfere with the pc’s wireless? ;)

  2. Posted by Robbin - 06/17/2009

    Too funny! And scary…what are those mobile phone radio frequencies doing to our brains?!

    Robbin

    As an aside, I think I have a new product for you in today’s sellout Woot! (http://sellout.woot.com/Defaul.....8bf9c8da2)

  3. Posted by Celeste - 06/17/2009

    Uncivilized! Go heat & eat somewhere else. Your coworkers will thank you!

  4. Posted by Andy @ The Daily Click - 06/17/2009

    I can just see it now, this on one side of your desk to cook your beans, the usb toaster so you can have them on toast and then the usb drinks cooler so when you burn your mouth you can have a cold drink. Plus we can’t forget the usb cushion so you can have a sleep in comfort after you’ve eaten!! lol.

  5. Posted by Sheena - 06/17/2009

    Wow. wow. wow. I recently moved and have decided not to purchase a microwave.

    It is very scary that mobile phone radios frequencies can cook our food. I recently saw a program where they placed four cell phones in a circle towards each other and placed a popcorn kernel between them. They then called all four phones and because of all that energy, the popcorn popped!

    I’m so not okay with that!

    This thing is scary and funny but mostly scary!

  6. Posted by Another Deb - 06/17/2009

    http://www.snopes.com/science/cookegg.asp

    The popcorn claim is a hoax, according to Snopes. Rest easy, Sheena!

  7. Posted by benoit - 06/17/2009

    Just to let you know that all microwaves oven use mobile phone frequencies to cook your food. The only difference is that microwave ovens are obviously way more powerful than mobile phones.

    And for Sheena, the video you are talking about was an hoax. They hid a microwave source under the table.

  8. Posted by TuringTestFail - 06/17/2009

    You know, when cell phones first came out, they were touted as absolutely safe. I wondered though, can all this radio energy zipping around be that harmless? Now I am wondering about all our wi-fi devices in the same way…..my wireless printer is nice, but in 20 years will we be laughing about how we silly millennials thought that was somehow safe? I can’t decide about that. Sure, “it’s completely different, and safe”, but that’s what they said in 1990 about this new “cell” technology.

  9. Posted by Amy - 06/17/2009

    Okay, I think it is (as Mad TV says) ridonkulous attached to the computer. But battery powered? Pretty cool. If they got rid of the Beanzawave logo that is. Gotta have my pots da Beanz.

  10. Posted by caro - 06/17/2009

    OMG! Finally the ultimate anti-social geek gift! It’s so absurd I almost want one, just so I can show it to my friends!!

    Take a lunch break, somewhere with a tablecloth, real food and a decent Chardonnay, and get a life! Life’s too short not to stop and smell the wine cork [Ok, bit of paraphrasing there].

  11. Posted by Pharmacist Millie - 06/17/2009

    Hahaha this is quite funny. I think I need to get one at work for those times I start getting hungry.

  12. Posted by Karyn - 06/17/2009

    Eleven comments already, and NOT ONE telling you that this is actually a Very Useful Device and that your Pathetic Attempts At Mocking It are NOT FUNNY.

    :D

    Go, Erin! I <3 Unitasker Wednesdays. ;-)

  13. Posted by Christine - 06/17/2009

    So, so sad. What has the world come to where we need to cook our lunch at our desks??? What an awful item!

  14. Posted by Marie - 06/17/2009

    Oh, goodie, an even faster way to get cancer. Now I can stop chain smoking while trying to get a sunburn.

  15. Posted by Gabriel - 06/17/2009

    This appliance has me thinking Americans are apparently missing some English bean-eating obsession. A Heinz brands microwave with the word ‘beans’ in the name? Heating something called a ’snap pot’? What the hell is a snap pot? And how many beans do those wacky Brits eat where they need a dedicated bean-microwave.

    The unitasker element here isn’t the size or the usb power. It’s clearly a unitasker because it was designed to heat beans.

  16. Posted by Anita - 06/17/2009

    Wow, I agree, this is compltely ridiculous.

    @TuringTestFail: what exactly do you mean by “radio energy”, and what does that have to do with cell phones?
    If you mean radio waves, those are created and decoded by electrical signals and used by things like your radio since the late 19th century. I hope there isn’t anyone out there afraid their radio might hurt them… unless of course they keep it on a precarious ledge above their head.
    Cell phones don’t emit radio waves. Those are “radio phones”. The mobile phones we use nowadays emit electromagnetic radiation in the microwave range; the same kind that microwave ovens use, but in infinitely smaller concentration.
    Other wireless devices use variations of the above: Wi-Fi uses direct-sequence spread spectrum. Bluetooth uses frequency-hopping spread spectrum. In either case, the signals these emit are a lot weaker than those emitted by cell phones, since they only have a cover a much smaller distance.
    Not to be a know-it-all, but if you’re concerned about the health effects of a certain technology, you may find it worthwhile to understand how each wireless technology works rather than lumping them into one category and spreading misinformation. Also: if you are concerned about the health risks of cell phone emissions, the WHO expects to make recommendations about mobile phone use in October of this year.

  17. Posted by Aitch - 06/17/2009

    I think you meant “British-based”, not “England-Based” in the first line. People in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland get very ticked off at this sort of thing.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_kingdom

    :-)

  18. Posted by TuringTestFail - 06/17/2009

    @anita, not trying to write a thesis, this is after all someone’s blog. So I limited myself to a general discussion. I am sorry you were offended!

  19. Posted by Erin Doland - 06/17/2009

    @Aitch — Actually, the article says just in “England”

  20. Posted by mhb - 06/17/2009

    If I hadn’t seen the photo, and only read the description, I would have thought this was funny.

    But that sad, tiny, garishly-colored pot of beans made me want to cry a little. I envisioned some poor cubicle-drone looking forward to those few beans for his only warmth in a cold, uncaring world…

  21. Posted by Pantaz - 06/17/2009

    This will NOT WORK as described. There is simply not enough power available from the USB port. The maximum available power from a USB port* is 9 watts (considerably more than your cell phone) — not nearly enough to warm those beans.
    Furthermore, use of the mobile phone frequency band for this purpose violates radio communications regulations.

    * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USB#Power

  22. Posted by Erin Doland - 06/17/2009

    @Aitch — Now the text in the article reads “Brits” … we double checked though in editing, and it really did say “England”

  23. Posted by Jim - 06/17/2009

    It would be a neat idea for camping, or for limited space apartments, but t USB interface seems kind of.. limited.

  24. Posted by AG - 06/17/2009

    That worker is virtually tethered to his desk. Poor soul.

    Let us bow our heads and pray,

    “Heavenly Father, we ask that you intercede . . . “

  25. Posted by Sheena - 06/17/2009

    Glad the popcorn thing was a hoax..but still not cool with some of our technology advancements.

  26. Posted by Adam Snider - 06/17/2009

    What I find most hard to believe about this isn’t that it exists, but that a microwave is actually able to draw the amount of power it needs from a simple USB port.

  27. Posted by Jen - 06/17/2009

    sadly, my husband could benefit from this. he often skips lunch due to time constraints. :(

  28. Posted by Cliff - 06/17/2009

    What gets me is the idea that, as far as I can tell from the picture, you could pick this thing up and put your cubicle-mate’s right arm in it and nuke him.

  29. Posted by Jen - 06/18/2009

    Thanks for thinking of us over here in the UK! I LOVE this idea personally, however, would I use it?!!? Yes probably!!

    Keep up the good work!

  30. Posted by David - 06/18/2009

    Sheena, then you better turn off your computer.

  31. Posted by Adam - 06/18/2009

    Erm, am I the only person who sees this as a kinda cool development? Not for heating beans, mind you, but the running from batteries option is a great idea! Campers, students, heck even aid relief could use something like this- a unitasker perhaps, but without the branding it’s an excellent invention.

  32. Posted by gypsy packer - 06/18/2009

    This has possibilities for the working homeless. They can run the solar battery charger to the 12 volt socket in the vehicle, hook up the inverter and plug in the laptop, plug the microwave into the computer, and have a partially- or fully-solar alternative to the fossil fuel Coleman stove. Faster and less polluting. For the recession-challenged people living in cars, it’s a definite alternative, if they could afford the freight from Britain, and even that may not be a problem if they can get it from eBay with free shipping.

  33. Posted by Blue Gal (Fran) - 06/18/2009

    It’s just like the FunCooker in 30 Rock. Ha ha!

  34. Posted by Cyrano - 06/18/2009

    It is a grievous oversimplification to think that because cellphones, microwaves, and wireless operate at the same frequency that they will have similar effects. It’s like saying you are afraid of breathing in oxygen because it’s O2, and you know that CO4 is bad, which has even more O in it than O2.

    @Anita – The WHO already did a factsheet on it, if you’re interested: http://www.who.int/mediacentre...../fs193/en/

  35. Posted by MJ Ray - 06/18/2009

    Disappointed to see this misreport spread to Unclutterer. Did Erin stop thinking for a while? I expect better from this site!

    “anyone who had even a passing technical familiarity with the systems involved should know it couldn’t be true” – See: Far too often, new media serves up popularity without accuracy, Seth Finkelstein, Wednesday 17 June 2009 19.30 BST http://www.guardian.co.uk/tech.....d-me-first

  36. Posted by Erin Doland - 06/18/2009

    @MJ Ray — Bwa ha ha!! Even better if it’s a misreporting!! Now it’s just cluttering up our website!! Ha!! Oh, how I love irony :)

  37. Posted by Dave - 06/18/2009

    well let’s look at some power numbers, lets say a USB can power 5 watts, if this has rechargable batteries in it and the USB just recharges them, 5 watts for say 8 hours is 40 watt hours or 2400 watt minutes, so it could power a 1000 watt microwave for just over 2 minutes if everything was 100% effiecent. and you would need 20 1700mah AA batteries to power it. Can it be done yes, is it worth it no

  38. Posted by Gretchen - 06/18/2009

    Sadly, I’m one for whom this would actually be practical in a crazy sort of way. I work in a very busy real estate office and many days have a hard time getting a real lunch in since we can’t eat at our desks anymore. I’d never buy the thing though.

  39. Posted by Mike - 06/25/2009

    To Anita,

    Your rant on the differences between elecromagnetic radiation and RF were lengthy and impressive sounding. And while you like to think you are a know it all, you are in fact, partially wrong. Radio waves are a type of EMR, not something different. Just because a digital signal doesn’t modulate the same way as an analogue signal… or a shortwave radio operates on a different part of the radio spectrum than a microwave signal, doesn’t mean they aren’t generating EMR. So yes, the output power is varied and important to consider, but so is proximity to the source and concentration of the radiated signal.

    Point is this, you are in fact not a know it all… so in fact the next time you want to act like one, don’t.

  40. Posted by Emine - 07/27/2009

    I actually had one (can’t remember if it was heinz though) but mine broke down pretty quick. I think the salespitch is horrible. I didn’t use it in the office, I used it when I was a student and lived in a 9m2 flat (true story!) which had space to fit a small stove but no microwave and since I love to snack this item in the end was quite useful. The power was quite weak (say you couldn’t cook an egg with it) but it was enough to heat up a few frozen items and melt ice cream when I was craving milk but my fridge was lacking it.

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