Comments on: This Valentine’s day, make a change http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/ Daily tips on how to organize your home and office. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:03:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Ivory http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-50686 Ivory Sun, 14 Feb 2010 17:56:53 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-50686 I think the sentiment here is really powerful, even if we're not talking about clutter. Actions speak louder than words, and making small changes in ourselves for the sole purpose of making someone we love happy is no small thing. Thank you for the reminder. I think the sentiment here is really powerful, even if we’re not talking about clutter. Actions speak louder than words, and making small changes in ourselves for the sole purpose of making someone we love happy is no small thing. Thank you for the reminder.

]]> By: Forming habits | Seedplots http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-30830 Forming habits | Seedplots Sun, 22 Mar 2009 07:36:00 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-30830 [...] The original link is here. [...] [...] The original link is here. [...]

]]> By: Sue http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28167 Sue Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:35:05 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28167 @Suzyn: Great cleaning idea before the bedtime routine. Plus, the added gift of going through the ‘kid check list’ first thing in the morning. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes… Sue Brenner Unclutterer @Suzyn:

Great cleaning idea before the bedtime routine. Plus, the added gift of going through the ‘kid check list’ first thing in the morning. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes…

Sue Brenner
Unclutterer

]]> By: Suzyn http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28125 Suzyn Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:58:17 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28125 We recently made a new habit: clean up the kitchen BEFORE the kids' bedtime. I always thought it would be easier to clean up once the house was quiet, but after 20 mins of cuddles and lullabies in the dark, the last thing I want to do is turn on all the lights and wash dishes. So now, the 4 year old is allowed to play in his room, the toddler gets an extra handful of raisins in his high chair, and I get the kitchen all tidy while I'm still energized. What annoys my sweetie? It drives my husband crazy when I don't give him all the pertinent info when I hand off the kids to go to work: is the little guy in a fresh diaper? Did the big guy get a vitamin? So I just created a checklist - now we can run down the checklist every morning, and (hopefully!) there'll be no more (or at least fewer) misunderstandings. We recently made a new habit: clean up the kitchen BEFORE the kids’ bedtime. I always thought it would be easier to clean up once the house was quiet, but after 20 mins of cuddles and lullabies in the dark, the last thing I want to do is turn on all the lights and wash dishes. So now, the 4 year old is allowed to play in his room, the toddler gets an extra handful of raisins in his high chair, and I get the kitchen all tidy while I’m still energized.

What annoys my sweetie? It drives my husband crazy when I don’t give him all the pertinent info when I hand off the kids to go to work: is the little guy in a fresh diaper? Did the big guy get a vitamin? So I just created a checklist – now we can run down the checklist every morning, and (hopefully!) there’ll be no more (or at least fewer) misunderstandings.

]]> By: Sue http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28100 Sue Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:35:17 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28100 I think the 21-days-to-become-a-habit rule doesn't work for everyone. It certainly doesn't work for me. I've tried it, and been successful at doing something every day for 3 weeks, 1 month, and sometimes even several months, only to have one slip-up or other interruption in the daily routine put me right back to where I was before I tried adopting the new habit. I think the 21-days-to-become-a-habit rule doesn’t work for everyone. It certainly doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried it, and been successful at doing something every day for 3 weeks, 1 month, and sometimes even several months, only to have one slip-up or other interruption in the daily routine put me right back to where I was before I tried adopting the new habit.

]]> By: Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28086 Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome Fri, 13 Feb 2009 10:41:09 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28086 My boyfriend notices actions and I notice words. Therefore it doesn't matter how much I talk about something unless I do it he doesn't notice. So I make a bit more effort to remember to do things and to anticipate his needs. He on the other hand can do a million and one nice things but one negative word and I've forgotten all the actions. He therefore makes a bit effort not to complain. As long as we're both conscious of the other person's buttons, we do well at avoiding them and everyone is happy happy. My boyfriend notices actions and I notice words. Therefore it doesn’t matter how much I talk about something unless I do it he doesn’t notice. So I make a bit more effort to remember to do things and to anticipate his needs.

He on the other hand can do a million and one nice things but one negative word and I’ve forgotten all the actions. He therefore makes a bit effort not to complain.

As long as we’re both conscious of the other person’s buttons, we do well at avoiding them and everyone is happy happy.

]]> By: 2009-02-12 | Productivity Stream http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28085 2009-02-12 | Productivity Stream Fri, 13 Feb 2009 08:53:54 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28085 [...] This Valentine’s day, make a change [...] [...] This Valentine’s day, make a change [...]

]]> By: Joyful Abode: Domesticity by Trial and Error http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28080 Joyful Abode: Domesticity by Trial and Error Fri, 13 Feb 2009 02:38:05 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28080 That's awesome! :) We recently did something similar. One thing that bothered my husband is that I would leave a pile of my clean clothes next to my dresser rather than folding or hanging them immediately... it would be there for days at a time, looking sloppy. One thing that bothered me was that after dinner he would leave the dishes around/in the sink and sometimes not wash them till the morning... or he'd leave dishes in the sink throughout the day. So I approached him and asked him, "Hey, can we make a deal? I'll put my clothes away immediately if you promise to not leave dishes in and around the sink." He agreed, motivated by the prospect of my clean clothes being put away. And now I put my clothes away, motivated by the fact that he'd do dishes more often. It's been awesome so far! And now that there aren't any dishes sitting around, I'm more likely to actually clean the kitchen... clean counters, clean sink, sweep the floor, etc. That’s awesome! :) We recently did something similar.

One thing that bothered my husband is that I would leave a pile of my clean clothes next to my dresser rather than folding or hanging them immediately… it would be there for days at a time, looking sloppy.

One thing that bothered me was that after dinner he would leave the dishes around/in the sink and sometimes not wash them till the morning… or he’d leave dishes in the sink throughout the day.

So I approached him and asked him, “Hey, can we make a deal? I’ll put my clothes away immediately if you promise to not leave dishes in and around the sink.” He agreed, motivated by the prospect of my clean clothes being put away. And now I put my clothes away, motivated by the fact that he’d do dishes more often.

It’s been awesome so far! And now that there aren’t any dishes sitting around, I’m more likely to actually clean the kitchen… clean counters, clean sink, sweep the floor, etc.

]]> By: Beverly D http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28077 Beverly D Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:36:13 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28077 This is a great idea. I'm going to ask my husband tonight about it. I'm a fairly organized, although not entirely uncluttered person. I'm sure there are things I do, or don't, that bug him, and changing one behavior as a gift to him would be a true act of love. I'd never know otherwise, because he is so nonconfrontational, and we don't nag each other about anything. Weird I know but we just don't. It's a second marraige, ok? Plus, we follow the maxim, "a closed mouth gathers no foot". This is a great idea. I’m going to ask my husband tonight about it. I’m a fairly organized, although not entirely uncluttered person. I’m sure there are things I do, or don’t, that bug him, and changing one behavior as a gift to him would be a true act of love. I’d never know otherwise, because he is so nonconfrontational, and we don’t nag each other about anything. Weird I know but we just don’t. It’s a second marraige, ok? Plus, we follow the maxim, “a closed mouth gathers no foot”.

]]> By: Michele http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28074 Michele Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:11:51 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28074 My husband and I tried this once, and it didn't work because most of his annoying habits are due to his ADD. I can't expect him to change his brain chemistry! The one that bothers me most is that he is constantly "drumming" by beating rhythmically on whatever is handy (desks, tables, his lap). So, we compromised by deciding "nagging" was allowed and we would not get mad about being reminded about one particular pet peeve. I think we get along better for it. My husband and I tried this once, and it didn’t work because most of his annoying habits are due to his ADD. I can’t expect him to change his brain chemistry! The one that bothers me most is that he is constantly “drumming” by beating rhythmically on whatever is handy (desks, tables, his lap).

So, we compromised by deciding “nagging” was allowed and we would not get mad about being reminded about one particular pet peeve. I think we get along better for it.

]]> By: Sarah http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28068 Sarah Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:22:23 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28068 I have a habit of not doing the dishes until they are utterly disgraceful (I live alone so have only myself to blame). My bf hates it! I hate it. So, I am going to make a new habit of doing the dishes every night - not just rinsing them off and leaving them beside the sink which is my current cop-out. I have a habit of not doing the dishes until they are utterly disgraceful (I live alone so have only myself to blame). My bf hates it! I hate it. So, I am going to make a new habit of doing the dishes every night – not just rinsing them off and leaving them beside the sink which is my current cop-out.

]]> By: allen http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28063 allen Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:54:37 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28063 Great post, guys! Even for those of us w/o an SO in our lives, there were some great suggestions, & reminders about the 21/30 day rule! (i know i had forgotten) Great post, guys! Even for those of us w/o an SO in our lives, there were some great suggestions, & reminders about the 21/30 day rule! (i know i had forgotten)

]]> By: Kathy http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28058 Kathy Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:31:41 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28058 But what do you do with someone who wants to be organized but isn't willing [change] to be organized? But what do you do with someone who wants to be organized but isn’t willing [change] to be organized?

]]> By: Tabitha (From Single to Married) http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28047 Tabitha (From Single to Married) Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:14:19 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28047 Since New Year's I've been working on keeping the house clean and I realized that it's much easier to pick up little stuff throughout the week when I do the big cleaning on the weekend. So my habit would be to get up early every Saturday and clean first thing just to get it out of the way. Since New Year’s I’ve been working on keeping the house clean and I realized that it’s much easier to pick up little stuff throughout the week when I do the big cleaning on the weekend. So my habit would be to get up early every Saturday and clean first thing just to get it out of the way.

]]> By: Christine http://unclutterer.com/2009/02/12/this-valentines-day-make-a-change/comment-page-1/#comment-28044 Christine Thu, 12 Feb 2009 15:57:47 +0000 http://unclutterer.com/?p=4347#comment-28044 Julia: Actually, one of my new year's resolutions was to be more loving towards my beloved. One of the major facets of that - after 5 years of living together, stop commenting about his desk (as long as all the crap stays *on* the desk the majority of the time), don't comment about dishes (just do them more often myself), and keep the living room clean around his stuff. After all, I love him, he's busy (we're *both* busy), and I want to have a clean house because I like it. Cleaning around him and doing more dishes is pretty easy. Not commenting about it is really hard. I just tell myself, nobody likes a nag. And some people put off doing things purely because they were nagged to do it. Julia:
Actually, one of my new year’s resolutions was to be more loving towards my beloved. One of the major facets of that – after 5 years of living together, stop commenting about his desk (as long as all the crap stays *on* the desk the majority of the time), don’t comment about dishes (just do them more often myself), and keep the living room clean around his stuff. After all, I love him, he’s busy (we’re *both* busy), and I want to have a clean house because I like it.

Cleaning around him and doing more dishes is pretty easy. Not commenting about it is really hard. I just tell myself, nobody likes a nag. And some people put off doing things purely because they were nagged to do it.

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