Unitasker Wednesday: Japanese face slimmer

face_slimmerAll Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Have you always wanted to wear a hockey mask for hours a day, like Jason does in the Friday the 13th movies? If you have, AND you want a more slim face, then the Japanese Face Slimmer may be the perfect product for you. Sure, you may terrify small children, but isn’t that really part of the plan? Fear and a slimmer face — maybe this isn’t a unitasker after all!

I’m not exactly sure how the face slimming actually works (crushes your bones? causes you to sweat so much you become dehydrated?), but don’t let things like “doubt” stop you from ordering this attractive item. You’ll be all the rage at the grocery store, your son’s little league practice, and driving down the road being chased by the cops!

23 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Japanese face slimmer”

  1. posted by Springpeeper on

    Thank you, thank you for giving me a much needed laugh this morning. Face slimmer! hahahahahahah

  2. posted by Sapphire on

    ROFL is this seriously a real product? Now if they’d just come out with the full-body edition…

  3. posted by Bonnie on

    This may well be the best Unitasker yet! Thanks for the laugh!

  4. posted by Michael on

    I disagree that this is a Unitasker. I mean, it’s not just for Japanese faces, but any face!

    Kidding. Nice job.

  5. posted by Tabitha (From Single to Married) on

    Oh my heavens. I mean seriously.

    there’s nothing more to say.

  6. posted by Chiggins on

    Do they come in any colors besides vibrant purple?

  7. posted by Johnny on

    ha, I got a good chuckle out of this unitasker. There are so many weird (to me anyhow) products in Japan, like square watermelons and anti-crime vending machine costumes (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10.....japan.html).

  8. posted by Jessica on

    It looks like you can’t eat while wearing it, see it has those teeny air holes. It’s a foodie’s nightmare! So, it’s not just a face slimmer, it’s a whole-body slimmer!

  9. posted by Alan on

    Actually, the label on the package in Japanese says “sauna mask.”

  10. posted by Mac on

    Go with your instincts. This is definitely not a unitasker. Besides face slimming and striking fear into the hearts of small children there’s also the hiding of blemishes, masked balls, um…hiding of blemishes at masked balls. This would fit seamlessly into my multi-tasking lifestyle.

  11. posted by momofthree on

    I got three kids, therefore I see at as an alien trick or treating mask.
    Ain’t got a sauna, and yes, I could lose some weight, but NOT with that “Thing”!

  12. posted by Rue on

    Now this is truly a ridiculous item.

  13. posted by Elaine on

    Having a “v-line face” is a serious deal in Korea as well, from what I hear. You can get face rollers as well.
    http://thegrandnarrative.wordp.....ir-bodies/

  14. posted by Adam Snider on

    This is real? Wow…Japan truly is a strange place.

  15. posted by SK on

    By wearing this mask, you can scare people away from you. From a distance, not only your face but your whole body will appear smaller. This appears to be a must-have item for a self-conscious overweight introvert.

  16. posted by Laura on

    It is difficult to believe that this product exists. If someone was so unsatisfied with their face would they really want to put on this hideous mask?

  17. posted by anonymous on

    Does it come in a USB powered version?

  18. posted by Peregrin on

    “This appears to be a must-have item for a self-conscious overweight introvert.”

    Awesome. I’ll take it. :D

  19. posted by Victoria on

    This looks like it could be a big hit in the bd/sm subculture. Other than that…gross!

  20. posted by Susan HEming on

    It prevents you from eating! THe ultimate face-slimmer (body too) — stop eating.

  21. posted by At Home With Faith » Blog Archive » A Slimmer You on

    […] HERE to see this awesome product and then come back… I’ll […]

  22. posted by Ben on

    I was in Japan a few years back and saw a similar utensil that was used to give you a sort of template to give you the perfect eyebrows. It was a piece of plastic with a handle that you held over your eyebrows.

  23. posted by Amy on

    Lovely. The sweat produced from this face “sauna” also will also create a need for anti-acne cream.

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