Unitasker Wednesday: Japanese face slimmer
All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
Have you always wanted to wear a hockey mask for hours a day, like Jason does in the Friday the 13th movies? If you have, AND you want a more slim face, then the Japanese Face Slimmer may be the perfect product for you. Sure, you may terrify small children, but isn’t that really part of the plan? Fear and a slimmer face — maybe this isn’t a unitasker after all!
I’m not exactly sure how the face slimming actually works (crushes your bones? causes you to sweat so much you become dehydrated?), but don’t let things like “doubt” stop you from ordering this attractive item. You’ll be all the rage at the grocery store, your son’s little league practice, and driving down the road being chased by the cops!
Popularity: 8% [?]
Posted by Matt on Jan 28, 2009 |
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22 comments posted
Posted by Springpeeper - 01/28/2009
Thank you, thank you for giving me a much needed laugh this morning. Face slimmer! hahahahahahah
Posted by Sapphire - 01/28/2009
ROFL is this seriously a real product? Now if they’d just come out with the full-body edition…
Posted by Bonnie - 01/28/2009
This may well be the best Unitasker yet! Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by Michael - 01/28/2009
I disagree that this is a Unitasker. I mean, it’s not just for Japanese faces, but any face!
Kidding. Nice job.
Posted by Tabitha (From Single to Married) - 01/28/2009
Oh my heavens. I mean seriously.
there’s nothing more to say.
Posted by Chiggins - 01/28/2009
Do they come in any colors besides vibrant purple?
Posted by Johnny - 01/28/2009
ha, I got a good chuckle out of this unitasker. There are so many weird (to me anyhow) products in Japan, like square watermelons and anti-crime vending machine costumes (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10.....pan.html).
Posted by Jessica - 01/28/2009
It looks like you can’t eat while wearing it, see it has those teeny air holes. It’s a foodie’s nightmare! So, it’s not just a face slimmer, it’s a whole-body slimmer!
Posted by Alan - 01/28/2009
Actually, the label on the package in Japanese says “sauna mask.”
Posted by Mac - 01/28/2009
Go with your instincts. This is definitely not a unitasker. Besides face slimming and striking fear into the hearts of small children there’s also the hiding of blemishes, masked balls, um…hiding of blemishes at masked balls. This would fit seamlessly into my multi-tasking lifestyle.
Posted by momofthree - 01/28/2009
I got three kids, therefore I see at as an alien trick or treating mask.
Ain’t got a sauna, and yes, I could lose some weight, but NOT with that “Thing”!
Posted by Rue - 01/28/2009
Now this is truly a ridiculous item.
Posted by Elaine - 01/28/2009
Having a “v-line face” is a serious deal in Korea as well, from what I hear. You can get face rollers as well.
http://thegrandnarrative.wordp.....ir-bodies/
Posted by Adam Snider - 01/28/2009
This is real? Wow…Japan truly is a strange place.
Posted by SK - 01/28/2009
By wearing this mask, you can scare people away from you. From a distance, not only your face but your whole body will appear smaller. This appears to be a must-have item for a self-conscious overweight introvert.
Posted by Laura - 01/28/2009
It is difficult to believe that this product exists. If someone was so unsatisfied with their face would they really want to put on this hideous mask?
Posted by anonymous - 01/29/2009
Does it come in a USB powered version?
Posted by Peregrin - 01/29/2009
“This appears to be a must-have item for a self-conscious overweight introvert.”
Awesome. I’ll take it.
Posted by Victoria - 01/29/2009
This looks like it could be a big hit in the bd/sm subculture. Other than that…gross!
Posted by Susan HEming - 01/30/2009
It prevents you from eating! THe ultimate face-slimmer (body too) — stop eating.
Posted by At Home With Faith » Blog Archive » A Slimmer You - 01/30/2009
[...] HERE to see this awesome product and then come back… I’ll [...]
Posted by Ben - 11/13/2009
I was in Japan a few years back and saw a similar utensil that was used to give you a sort of template to give you the perfect eyebrows. It was a piece of plastic with a handle that you held over your eyebrows.
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