Unitasker Wednesday: Mascara warmer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Hey ladies and male fans of Social Distortion, do you want to know the secret behind the perfect eyelashes of Hollywood stars? Of course you do. The secret, according to the makers of the Mascara Warmer, is warm mascara. From the product description:

NEW! Unlock the secret to movie-star eyelashes. How do you create long, lovely, clump-free lashes? Warm the mascara. For many years, Hollywood makeup artists used hot blow dryers to get the smoothest consistency. Now they–and you–can do it the easy way with this revoutionary new beauty tool. It quickly and safely warms all brands of mascara in less than five minutes, in any plastic or metal packaging. So small and light, you can take it anywhere.

Hmm, so makeup artists use blow dryers to warm their mascara? But you and I both know the blow dryer is so 1990s. Step into the 21st century and go for the Mascara Warmer. 

Thanks to reader Elspeth for bringing this unitasker to our attention.

47 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Mascara warmer”

  1. posted by Jenni on

    Wow! One of those things we didn’t realize we needed! I checked out some of their other products on that site, and they have stuff I had seen on infomercials. I love these wednesdays, and the things you come up with. I haven’t had any of the stuff you have come up with yet. I already have enough stuff, that I don’t need these one use things.

  2. posted by Cherry on

    It’s weird how this blog is supposed to be about uncluttering our lives but every other day there seems to be a new entry about some gadget or product to purchase that only adds to the clutter.

    Are mascara and handcream warmers really beneficial to ourselves or to this earth? Or are they just another gadget that ends up taking up more of our space, time, and money and sucking the energy out of our lives and homes?

    Can they truly be categorized as a simple living, productivity, or green tip?

    Please consider this.

  3. posted by RT on

    Cherry – at the top of the post it states “All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness.” I think you might have missed that.

    Warm mascara huh? That’s a new one on me. I’ll have to try that with my 90′s hairdryer.

  4. posted by delphine on

    Really? Even with the disclaimer at the top of the post?

  5. posted by Rue on

    @Cherry: You’re missing the point. The point is not to buy these things, it’s to LAUGH at them.

  6. posted by Rue on

    Well, the concept behind the product sounds plausible. If you warm it up a little, it shouldn’t clump as much. Would be nice for a make-up artist…but not for the everyday mascara applier. >_>

  7. posted by 14k on

    There are people who DO NOT read the WHOLE story but believe every thing they read online. These are the same people who believe internet is bad for our children and suggest phone company, ISP and government should observes, monitors, eardrops, and filters all internet activities.

  8. posted by Cherry on

    Cherry – at the top of the post it states “All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness.” I think you might have missed that.

    I did miss that disclaimer at the top and, the joke apparently. Thanks. :)

  9. posted by Kimberly on

    Does is work on solid eyeliner too (the pencil kind)? Cause it sure is hard to put that on when your house is 55° in the winter.

  10. posted by Karen on

    All these comments where people take this seriously are funnier than the unitasker itself ;)

  11. posted by Springpeeper on

    Hmmm, just think of how the warming of mascara must encourage the growth of bacteria inside the tube…

  12. posted by Peter (a different one) on

    Hmmm, I love Social Distortion, but I’ve yet to have the desire to don mascara. Then again I also enjoy Huey Lewis and the News…

  13. posted by Lori on

    @springpeeper, I was just going to make the observation about the bacteria incubator, too.

    @Kimberly, that’s what we used our Bic lighters for back in the 80s.

  14. posted by Sue on

    This is so bizarre. Tammy Faye would’ve loved this!

  15. posted by maxie on

    I was going to comment on the silliness of having to put that disclaimer at the top of Wednesday’s Unitasker posts, but then I read Cherry’s post–how incredibly sad is that?

    Is it an example of needing intelligence to have a sense of humor?

  16. posted by Lynette on

    @Peter – personally, as a great fan of SD, I haven’t seen men in mascara at the shows, even Mike Ness (though his eyeliner is very sexy). I applaud the mention and link to one of my top five favorite groups of all time, but in connection with mascara? Fooey!

    BTW, Cherry, just ‘pit’iful, really.

    :)

  17. posted by Roberta Lipp on

    Okay but my sister-in-law has a heated eyelash curler (the amount of heat is very safe). She said Asians have been using them for years. And let me tell you, I tried it and it totally rocks.

  18. posted by mhb on

    Do you think the moved disclaimer (from the end to the beginning) made it harder to tell it’s a joke? Perhaps it was the italics that made it challenging to read?

    Or maybe there’s just no way to do UW without the other commenters calling out the humorless folks.

    One wonders, though, if those folks thought that “Unclutterer” was really hawking useless crap like this, but they cared about simple living, WHY they would read this blog? Mind boggling.

    I dunno. What I do know is that I don’t even wear mascara, so there are two layers of things that I just found out I needed!

  19. posted by hillary on

    always one person every week who misses it!! hehe.

    really, a mascara warmer? good grief people will buy anything!!!

  20. posted by Kelly from Almost Frugal on

    I have to say that warming the mascara does help it to go on clump free. I am not a girly girl, and mascara is one of the few items of make-up I wear. I warm it under hot running water for a second or two before applying.

  21. posted by M.R. on

    …you can also roll the tube back and forth between your hands for a bit….

  22. posted by Anny on

    Who has time to sit around waiting for mascara to warm? And if its constantly warm won’t the mascara eventually dry out or become a bacteria’s paradise? I love Unitasker posts and their weekly dose of the ridiculous ;)

  23. posted by christa on

    “Does is work on solid eyeliner too (the pencil kind)? Cause it sure is hard to put that on when your house is 55° in the winter.”

    THIS!!!

  24. posted by JuneBug on

    Very important question – will it thaw out frozen mascara that has been left in the car overnight in -30* F? Which is self explanatory of why I seldom ever wear makeup.

    I look forward to unitasker each week.

  25. posted by tazistanjen on

    Usually every week there is someone who has and likes the featured item. I covet onion goggles myself. But *no one* wants the mascara warmer.

  26. posted by smheath on

    I’m a huge Social D fan and I don’t really get it. I think this might appeal more to My Chemical Romance fans. (Okay, I love them, too.)

  27. posted by Beverly D on

    I get such a laugh out of the “didn’t know it was a joke” comments…reminds me of my blond daughter who didn’t get blond jokes…when you told one she just looked at you blankly and said “I don’t get it”…funnier than the joke. I think this could work well in the short term if having perfect makeup is important to you (like models and actors) but you would have to change wands frequently from the bacteria problem. I think when I was 15 this would have been a “have to have” in my makeup box. OMG.

  28. posted by allison carter on

    I love unitasker wednesdays. Always makes me wonder who thought of this stuff.
    I think Sara Palin might like the mascara warmer. Good for those cold winter days when the mascara is frozen solid when you go to put on your make-up in the car as you drive to work.. in Alaska.
    yikes.
    Saw a good one recently for an electric gravyboat warmer.
    – Allison

  29. posted by Sarah on

    Clearly I need to start warming my mascara in order to unclutter my lashes. In the spirit of the site, though, I will commit to muddling through without the gadget. But I do appreciate the beauty advice!

    But tazistanjen, re: onion goggles? They totally work! Seriously. Must have.

  30. posted by k on

    I actually kinda’ want one. My mascara ALWAYS goes on clumpy and I hate it — that’s why I rarely wear mascara. (I always thought it was poor technique, but I see it’s just the wrong equipment!) But you know what, I think I’d rather warm my mascara in my armpit for a couple minutes than buy this unitasker…

  31. posted by Kara on

    Instead of buying some cluttering new gadget, I just took the advice of the advertisement when it said “For many years, Hollywood makeup artists used hot blow dryers to get the smoothest consistency.”

    Guess what? The blowdryer on my mascara for a few seconds actually made it a lot less clumpier. Even better? I already had a blow dryer and didn’t need to purchase some new gadget.

  32. posted by Amy on

    How did they get the money to finance this manufacturing idea? Is this an example of banks making “risky” investments??? I wonder if we are paying for this in the bailout somehow ;)

    Kimberly, When I was a teenager and used to use eyeliner pencils, I used to warm it by touching the tip to the bathroom lightbulb for a second. Worked like magic!

  33. posted by Another Lori on

    @Lori — that’s what I was going to say!! Bic lighters, that’s how we did it in the 80s!!

    Also, staying on the 80s theme – mascara and rock bands…for me hair bands like Poison and Warrant come to mind. Then there were the New Wave/Pop bands — Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran??

    I think mascara was worn by as many men in the 80s as women! lol

  34. posted by Andamom on

    Maybe it is me — but mascara is already a breeding ground for bacteria. Heating bacteria will only increase this… So, the shelf life for mascara shortens considerably if you are heating it.

  35. posted by Sally on

    If you have a regular eyelash curler – you can warm it up with a hairdryer. Your lashes curl nicely and then apply the mascara. No additional product needed – no bacteria.

  36. posted by Ann on

    re:k

    I am ROFL ! Thanks for the visual of you with a tube of mascara in your armpit !

  37. posted by Elizabeth on

    I love UW… mental image of hundreds of middle-aged New Romantics rushing to order one of these things…

  38. posted by Andy on

    This is crying out to be powered by USB.

  39. posted by jw on

    nice, a unitasker for warming your unitasker cosmetic. i agree with andy, it should be powered by USB *and* turn on and off with a clapper for ultimate ridiculousness

  40. posted by rt on

    No Andy, it’s crying to be powered by a cigarette lighter!

  41. posted by Clara on

    I actually bought one of these, and I love it. Yes, heat can breed bacteria but so can air. You should ideally be replacing your mascara every three months, even if you don’t heat it up. Also, don’t pump air into it in the first place. Open the tube and roll the brush before pulling it out.

    So, satire taken into consideration, this actually made some sense. I did all of those things… Heated mascara in hot water, microwaved it, used the blow dryer and all those tricks. With this, you can put it in the unit while doing your hair. Since you put mascara on last, there are plenty of things to do before putting on mascara.

  42. posted by Dee Dee on

    Aside from armpits, there is an easy time saving way to apply mascara that doesn’t require electrical devices either! I stick my mascara in my bra while I put on the rest of my makeup and put the mascara on last. That way, I have both hands free and don’t have to clamp one arm down to my side and hold the little tube under my arm! It goes on really smooth and clump free.

  43. posted by Clara on

    At my age, who needs a bra? I can hold up the tube without one! My husband had some other suggestions…

    I have two tubes of Covergirl Lash Blast that I used for measurement. The heated tube really did perfor better.

    In any case, enough of my friends used mine that I decided to get some for Chinese Christmas gifts at work.

  44. posted by Beth in Texas on

    I bought a Mascara Warmer and I LOVE IT! For once my mascara goes on smooth and it also gives my lashes a nice curl. As far as bacteria is concerned, your not sharing the thing with the whole neighborhood, you dunces! You turn it on for 5 minutes and use it then turn it off.

  45. posted by Adrienne on

    Wow! You girls are too funny. The mascara warmer makes complete sense to me. I am going to buy it because I did warm my mascara today before putting it on and it worked great. I have about 5 almost empty tubes of mascara and heated one of them and it went on like it was brand new! Oh for the eyeliner lady, what I used to do was slightly warm the liner (pencil) with a match/lighter (flame DOES NOT TOUCH) and it will go on like a liquid liner. HELP Does anyone know the website I can buy it from???

  46. posted by Clara on

    I bought mine from Big Daddy online. Still love it!

  47. posted by Chris on

    I just bought a few for Christmas gifts. My sister asked for one and it looks really cool. I did a quick test at home to see if it works…I heated a glass of water in the microwave and put my mascara in the hot water to warm it up for a few minutes. When I applied it it went on great. Since I don’t want to go through those steps every morning I am buying it. For all of you who are sceptical try doing what I did first and lets see if you are still blasting it. I bet you won’t!

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