Readers e-mail us some, uh, er, um, interesting questions. I’ve been collecting them, and I decided to do a whimsical question and answer column for today filled with my best attempts at responses. Feel welcome to play along and provide answers to any questions that interest you in the comments:
After organizing/minimalising/unclutterring a space, is it okay to write a poem about it if you are so inspired?
Sure. Why not?! If you feel inspired to write a poem, write a poem! Here, I’ll give it a whirl …
(A Humorous) Ode to Order
By Erin Rooney Doland
I love it when it’s clean in here
I love it when the counter is clear
I love to have my friends stop by
and not once have to apologize
Oh how I love my newly organized space
A place for everything, and everything in its place
Do you watch tv? What shows?
I love pop culture. I have a TV and a DVR, and I watch most of my shows in clumps on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings — and some mostly in fast forward (Project Runway, Top Chef). The following shows are programed to record into my DVR, but not all of them are currently in season: Burn Notice, Chuck, Closer, CSI: Las Vegas, Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone, Eureka, Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, In Plain Sight, Law and Order, Life, The Middle Man, Myth Busters, Project Runway, Psych, Pushing Daisies, and Top Chef.
If you could legally burn your house down and start over from scratch, would you?
One of Unclutterer’s programmers lost his house in a fire in June, and I know for certain I do not want to go through a similar experience. Please don’t burn my house down.
Are you married?
All of the Unclutterer staffers are married except for Intern Julia. And, Intern Julia would like everyone to know she has a boyfriend.
Is that really a picture of you in Ready Made?
Yes. Do I not look how you imagined? If you met me on the street, I’d likely be taller than you imagined, too.
Can you come and clean my house for me?
No, but I hear Merry Maids does a decent job with cleaning!
Seriously, if you’re looking to hire a professional organizer, I highly recommend you use NAPO’s referral service to find one in your community.
Can you yell at my husband for me?
I try not to yell except at sporting events. Does your husband play for the Nationals? If he does, I yell at him all the time.
Do you like Martha Stewart?
I’ve never met Martha Stewart, so I don’t know if I like her. I typically enjoy her work, though, and I am in love with her book Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook: The Essential Guide to Caring for Everything in Your Home. I think it would be great to sit down and have a glass of wine with her. She has more experience in the home lifehack industry than any other human, and I know I could learn a great deal from her.
Why do you think you’re better than everyone else?
Really? Huh. Are you sure you’re reading Unclutterer.com? Because, honestly, trying to be better than everyone else would take a LOT of time and effort, and I just don’t have that sort of energy.
Can you please get rid of the cartoon at the top of the home page? He scares me.
The cartoon guy at the top of the page is staying. I have a crush on him. Around the Unclutterer offices, we call him Suck Face Man. I can’t tell if he’s inept and can’t figure out how to properly operate a vacuum, or if he’s so good at cleaning that he’s the only thing in the room left to clean? Have you seen the little guy hiding from Suck Face Man at the bottom of the page? I love him, too.
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Your right, I trust worthy. You bad grammar spammer.