“Frost once speculated that adults who exhibited such behavior [hoarding] were responding to childhood poverty, but the studies did not bear this out. He did discover, however, a different background issue—a link to emotional deprivation and the level of warmth expressed in the family during adolescence.”

Frost is the pioneer researcher on chronic hoarding

So what do unclutterers do now?

My thought is, if you focus on buying/owning a few very durable items instead of cheap throwaway versions, you’ll be better positioned to endure economically difficult times. Sometimes it’s more expensive, and sometimes it’s just more effort to maintain (e.g. cast iron pans). But it’ll be worth it to minimize clutter and maintain a reasonable life in a hard economy.

A lot of us have seen hoarding up close and personal and the hurt that it causes both the hoarders and their loved ones. Personally, I think is an important issue, especially since many people trying to unclutter may have hoarding tendencies that they’re trying overcome, or may be more interested in uncluttering because they’ve seen hoarding and don’t want to end up that way.

Re: “Grandma died and all I got was a house full of lousy, worthless crap.” I don’t think anyone here feels that way. Though I can’t say I know everyone here personally, I’d like to give people the benefit of the doubt and no where have I seen that sort of attitude. It is true that a loved one’s death can involve quite a bit of work for the surviving loved ones, whether or not they’re hoarders. That doesn’t lessen their grief by any means, if anything, I think it would make it harder. And for some people, that may be the first time they see the hoarding or how bad it has become since many hoarding can often come between family members. It may also bring back a lot of memories and regrets. In short, it’s tough. And even if the loved one is alive right now, you may look at the stuff sometimes and realize that that’s what you have to look forward to doing in the future — not helped by how some hoarders do say things like, “You can throw it out when I’m dead and gone.” Sad, but true.

Anyhow, I try not to be judgmental. We all have our issues, however it’s a serious issue if/when stuff becomes more important than people or just generally gets in the way of someone being happy — whether you’re talking about hoarding or extreme uncluttering.

I agree that holding on to things “just in case” is not worth it, esp. if you can afford to buy whatever it is you might need. I just donated a trash bag full of linens – cloth napkins, tablecloths, table runners – and several perfectly good lamps to Goodwill because I don’t use them. The space I’ve created in my home from this “purge” makes me feel lighter and freer.

That said, I think it’s important not to send items to the landfill that can be reused or repairs. I try to fix rather than replace things that can be fixed, even if it would be easier to replace them. I just took a pair of boots and a purse to a shoemaker for repairs. I could have replaced the boots for $25 more than the cost of the repairs, but I’d rather continue to get more use out of the same pair. I also took a vintage coat to a tailor to have the lining replaced. This will cost approx. $110, which is about what I paid for it. But it’s 100% cashmere, hand stitched, very high quality. The tailor told me it would cost $500 if to buy one of similar quality new. On his advice, however, I’m throwing out another coat, which would cost more that it’s worth to repair.

But I’m proud to say that I’m learning to purge. Everything that’s coming home is being sorted and dealt with immediately. My mantra: “If I were packing up to move across country in six months, would I want to pack this?”

It’s surprising how well that puts it into perspective.

I lived overseas for a few years, in a small island country where it was considered rude and vicious not to share. I found it burdensome at times. I took out my needlebook to get a needle for sewing, and the women in the house noticed that I had more needles than I needed. They begged most of them away from me But it’s also reassuring to know that if you need something, and they have it, they must share or be shamed.

One man said, “The white man thinks he’s rich if he has a lot of money in the bank. The Tongan man thinks he’s rich if he has given much away.”

Giving much away makes it easier to dust, clean, and move, lightens your heart, and strengthens your community.

Regarding emptying a relative’s home, keep in mind that you can hire estate services that take care of that sort of thing. Around here, they make you an offer on the entire contents of the home. They get the prizes they might find, as well as job of cleaning out the junk.

It’s one thing to be saving broken items and food that you let get old and unusable, that is bad hoarding. But it is quite another thing to keep items that are not used often or may not be used for several years if the cost to replace it with a substandard new one is more than the cost of storing it until needed.

And I also think that if things are questionable but consumable (clothes that are not quite in style, food you are not fond of but is still ok to eat and the like) that it is much much better to force yourself to wear the item until it’s used up (which sadly takes only a few months with most shoddily made clothing nowadays) or eat the item you are not fond of but don’t ever buy any more.

And when you do buy something buy the best there is that you can possibly afford and keep it until it’s completely worn out, then replace it.

My husband tends to do the same thing, alas. There were many years when we had to be as frugal as any two people in the USA could possibly be, when we were both working full time and still qualified for food stamps. We had to cobble things together, make things do, and scrounge anything useful that we happened to find. But those days are, thank goodness, in the past, and I’m of the opinion that now we should do things right the first time, replace things that are worn out and NOT save the old one “just in case,” and only pick up other people’s discards if they are going to do something positive, whether useful or decorative.

I still can’t get him to agree to dump the box of old dull drill bits he scrounged out of the neighbors’ back yard 25 years ago….