1) Definitely say no to knife sets. We have a large and medium version of both Santoku and Chef knives (that’s four large knives) and three different paring knives. I’d really just rather have the large Santoku and the smallest paring knife, but I don’t know what to do with the others.

2) Some duplicates are a-okay, however. I cook a LOT, but we don’t go through enough of our dishwasher-safe items quickly to make sure everything is clean and, frankly, it’s my husband’s job to wash the dishes… I have three sets of the Chefmate silicone scrapers from Target. They cost just over $2 a set and last a very long time. I also have a red silicone scraper from the Martha Stewart line at Macy’s that is a wonder. I love that it doesn’t stain. I have lots of wooden spoons and several whisks, as well. I definitely don’t consider them clutter because they are contained in one small area and get a lot of use.

3) I echo the sentiments about registering for only one set of dinnerware. We have plain, white, open-stock Corel dishes. I love them because all of the pieces go from oven to table to freezer to dishwasher to wherever. They don’t break, are relatively inexpensive, and are incredibly easy to replace. I inherited a set of plain, white china for 12. I’m honestly not sure what I’m going to do with it…

4) If you are uncertain if you’ll want multiples of a particular item (eg, do you really like those towels? are you worried they might fall apart/shrink/whatever), TRY before you buy (or at least before you render them unreturnable). My husband and I did not live together before we were married and didn’t know that we were not going to tolerate sharing bedding (we each have our own down comforter with duvet now). I registered for three sets of high thread-count sheet sets and VERY stupidly washed them all and put them in the linen closet. I was then stuck trying to figure out what to do with three King-size flat sheets (quilt backing, incidentally). I wish I would have only opened one of the packages so that I could have returned the other two.

Really, in my case, it came down to knowing what I would use and not falling prey to the suggestions of the Wedding Registry Industrial Complex. And that I really shouldn’t have opened all of those sheets…

I stuck to things I knew my fiancee and I would use. I bake and my husband-to-be grew up in the kitchen of his family’s restaurant, so we stocked our registries with things we’d be sure to use often. Never underestimate a good set of quality wooden spoons, metal measuring cups/spoons, cast-iron kitchen gear…and a good apron.

Pick a store that you expect to want stuff later. For example, Sur La Table if you’re in the process of learning to cook. Or Target, or Barnes & Noble; whatever fits you.

Register for things you want. Now register for things you might want or things that others probably would want to get you (even if you don’t want them).

After the thank you notes and the wedding, return the items you don’t want. If the item was ordered through the gift registry, the store will (probably will?) include a gift receipt showing it was ordered thru the registry. Now you’ll have a stack of gift cards to a store you want to shop at.

This won’t work for people who don’t like social lies or who can’t stand regifting. To my mind, though, it sure beats having a dozen useless cluttery items from Tiffany’s because your registry was sold out and some of your guests didn’t know what else to get.

I second Bet on the immersion blender / hand blender. I use mine all the time for smoothies, soups and sauces. It is super easy to clean and store. I even gave away my regular blender on Freecycle!

The other kitchen item I adore is a sturdy grater. The IKEA Griller one is perfect because it has a rounded base and holds the grated food until you’re ready for it to come out.

I do keep a crepe pan. I bought it as a birthday present for myself a couple of years ago and I love it, even though I don’t use it frequently. It’s a fun treat for me and my daughter when we do bring it out. It’s not non-stick, though.

Generally I think food browns and caramelizes better when you don’t use non-stick pans. I don’t know if that’s scientific or anecdotal.

For flatware, we chose one of Oneida’s “Lifetime Patterns” and did the same thing. They supposedly never go out of production. Now when half the teaspoons mysteriously disappear, I only have to order a few more and voila! a full set of flatware remains.

Think hard before registering for both china and everyday dishes. Most people never use the china. Ask around to family and friends if they could loan their china if needed. Renting place settings is also an option.

Things I wish I HADN’T registered for:
Bundt pan
Any novelty baking pan (to much space, not enough use)
Food mill/Mouli
BIG granite mortar/pestle (WHAT was I thinking??)
Banquet sized tablecloth that needs ironing each time we use it.

Things I wish I HAD/glad I did register for:

3 sets of high quality sheets for each bed in the house (one for bed,one for cupboard, one for wash)

sheet cake pan (good for cookies and jelly rolls and flat cakes and novelty cakes…)

silicon baking mats

Good quality WHITE towels for bathroom (colors can’t be bleached and fade too fast- you can sew colorfast grosgrain ribbon on them if you’re dying for color…and then you can replace it when it gets faded)

Bar towels (These ROCK for cleaning and save me tonnes of $$ on paper towels)

Pilsner glasses. They are perfect for beer, iced tea and ice water. These get the most use at my house.

Crate and Barrel open stock white buffet wear. Look great with any flatwear/table linens and I use paper plates/cps a whole lot less

9×13 pan with cover- STILL haven’t gotten one!

8×8 brownie pan: ARRGH! WANT!

Kitchen Aide mixer and heaviest-grade blender I could get my mitts on: worth every inch of space. My husband adores the food processor, but to me, it’s just a lot of parts to wash instead of a knife or grater.

Heavy chrome pull-out shelf organizers so I don’t have to stand on my head to find a pan

Small cast-iron frying pan: I work in health, and there’s a lot of lab results about teflon that creep me out. We keep the iron pan on the stove top all the time, and use it so much that it never gets dusty. And hey- extra iron in our diet!

Set of nesting white quiche pans w/ lid. I cook/serve/store in them–great attractive multi-use

Stemmed Cake plate: Makes even my saddest baking effort look special!

A few cheap stacking trays from Ikea that will fit in my fridge: great for pre-arranging trays for parties and just whipping them out when the previous offering gets demolished.

I also would disagree with the “don’t upgrade what you have” theory – DO consider upgrading what you have, but only if you don’t LIKE the ones you have, and after researching carefully to find better versions. We had a crappy toaster oven that dried out our toast, so I checked Consumer Reports online and we ordered a better one; ditto with a blender – and we’ve used both of them a lot, and been much happier with the new ones. But, yeah, if something ain’t broke, don’t replace it.

My other piece of advice is to consider registering through Amazon (possibly as well as someplace else, especially if you do want china, flatware or linens, or other stuff you’ll want to see before choosing): they have a really broad selection, since they represent so many smaller vendors.

After 20 plus years of loving to cook with my husband, we are surprised at how little kitchen equipment we actually own. It has been well worth it to invest in fewer high quality pieces – we started with Calphalon but upgraded to All-Clad stainless when we decided to stop cooking with aluminum. We bought a small set of quality knives, a Cuisanart food processor and a Kitchen Aid mixer. We’ve owned them for years and still enjoy using them every day.

I also collected a set of fine China and silver flatware (and am probably giving away my age.) It’s okay – it’s not clutter for us – we enjoy using if often on even on everyday nights. We have even packed it up for a picnic (it’s fun to eat at a rest stop with a white tablecloth, china, silver, candles, etc. but make sure that you dress appropriately for the full effect!)