Comments on: Neat freak or just an unclutterer?

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 20:58:10 +0000

@ Lori- I know this is quite a few months late, but I had to say this. That seems like an awful way to live, to constantly clean everything, and I feel bad that you had to live through that. But please don’t blame your mom for not going to college because she didn’t help you with your homework. I grew up with both my parents working from 7 am- 8 pm, because they worked in a city two hours away. I never liked school or homework, but I got by on my own, without their help, by using teachers, tutors, and my classmates to help me along the way. And I know a lot of other people who were in the same situation as me who succeeded in school even more than I did. You should take responsibility for that problem, although the extreme cleaning problem is a very tough situation to be in, and I sympathize.

By: Lori

Lori — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:43:36 +0000

My mother is the neatest person that there could possibly be, in the entire world. She had five children. We never did anything together, because she was always busy ‘doing something’. Scrubbing the floor, doing laundry, cooking/baking…etc. And she hung all of those clothes out on the line, and also worked in the yard. She just sent us outside (those were the days when you could just send your kids outside all day long, and not even worry about them, unless they got hit by a car…that’s all that could have happened to us. I myself never learned to cook…I learned how to clean things and do laundry, after I got married. I’m the biggest slob in the world. I don’t know where anything is, and can’t seem to get anything done, never went to college, because she was too busy to help me with my homework in school, and neglected to tell me that a woman also had to have something to do besides being a housewife.
The last time I helped her have a garage sale, she spent the entire 2 days walking around her garage, picking up ‘fuzz’…or, whatever was on the floor….(tiny things that nobody would ever see, or care about).
Went to her house for Christmas last evening, and she was a total bitch until everybody got all of their ‘stuff’ out of her house. She wouldn’t let anybody help her in the kitchen, complained continuously that she had been up since 4:30am, and OF COURSE she was tired. And God forbid anybody left anything there. I took a bottle of wine for my daughter and son in law to share when they got there, after their 5 hour drive. They ultimately didn’t even open it, but, I thought that they had forgotten it (and it was a $25 dollar bottle of wine, AND I took my corkscrew with me for them…I thought that they left that too). Hard to believe, but my daughter did remember to retrieve both items. Had she not have, they would have ended up in the trash can.
Hell, the day that I got home from my honeymoon…so many years ago, she showed up at my house with boxes that had everything that I had ever owned, for my entire life…EVERYTHING.
It’s so nerve wracking to go to her house anymore. Everybody knows about it, and it’s ‘in the air’ the entire time that we’re there.
And, let me add this…if anybody were to ask her…she will tell you…” I love having Christmas at my house, having the family all together”. I told her this year, that I would really like to just ‘skip Christmas’. I don’t enjoy a thing about it anymore. I guess that I just want to be home where my disorganization ‘makes sense’ to me.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:33:23 +0000

I actually found this site through the MSNBC article – and promptly subscribed through RSS feed. I’m afraid I’m a borderline hoarder, but I find the state of my home profoundly depressing, and am trying to move in the direction of being an unclutterer. Wish me luck!

By: Amy-Elizabeth

Amy-Elizabeth — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:38:17 +0000

After reading the article twice through, I just feel like MSNBC just doesn’t “get it.” They find someone who dilligently works at being organized and uncluttered as an interesting human interest piece, rather than a legitimate way of living your life. I’m undecided if I am a little insulted by the piece, but the overall tone is a little too trivial for my liking. It’s almost as if the author cannot believe that someone would choose to own their possessions, rather than allowing their possessions to own them.

By: Cynthia Friedlob, The Thoughtful Consumer

Cynthia Friedlob, The Thoughtful Consumer — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 20:26:50 +0000

I agree completely with the concept of “curating your belongs” rather than mindlessly gathering and holding on to a bunch of stuff.

The behavioral extremes of both the ultra-organized and the hoarder are sadly pathological. But for the majority of us who are simply trying to cope with our possessions, achieving a balance that allows us to live in a comfortably organized, but dynamic state is much easier with less stuff around our homes.

If we could abandon both the concept that love and memories are inextricably connected to things instead of people and experiences, and the penchant our society has for “retail therapy,” finding that balance would be a lot easier.

By: awurrlu

awurrlu — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:43:05 +0000

I think Albert is on to something here, and it’s something I’ve heard echoed in “It’s All Too Much.” It’s about curating your belongings, rather than just amassing them.

For a long time, I lived in a tiny apartment built before the age of mega-closets, and my closets were a marvel of organization because I needed to have easy access to items I used on a regular basis.

Ask yourself whether you are neat and tidy because you enjoy your space and truly appreciate the items in it.* Or are you neat and tidy because you’re compelled to be so, or because disorder causes you anguish?

I recently had to move everything out of my clothes closet so that my landlord could do some work. I was annoyed that my shoes needed to be relocated to a space near my bed, but I also found that by keeping my belongings simple and pared down to those I really like, it was quite easy to adapt to the situation and replace items when the work was done.

—

* Of course, this doesn’t necessarily work the other way around — hoarders are attached to their stuff and have perhaps an unhealthy appreciation for the items in their space…

By: Dream Mom

Dream Mom — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 06:42:58 +0000

I don’t think there is anything wrong with being neat and organized. I have developed routines to get me through my day because they are the shortest distance between two points, in other words, I get things done faster. I like the calm of walking into a neat and organized home, especially after a day of organizing (I am a Professional Organizer.) What I especially love is that being organized allows me to pursue my other passions or have time to do the other things in my life.

I think there can be a line you cross on either end of the spectrum. I have a family member that is a minimalist and she doesn’t allow virtually anything into her home and there is never an item on any countertop (For the record, she was the messy one growing up. LOL!). The only problem is that the room looks uncomfortable or unfinished because you can’t tell anyone lives there. Furthermore, there aren’t any collections or anything in her home of things that she loves, so it’s kind of sterile. The quest to keep things to a minimum has eliminated things she loves.

My organization philosophy is simple. You get organized so you can pursue your passion, whatever that may be. When you spend more time pursing organization, you are on the wrong tract.

By: Elizabeth J. Barrett

Elizabeth J. Barrett — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:44:44 +0000

I have a friend who goes way overboard — she throws out everything that is not perfect for her. Everything! I’m talking bars of 87% dark chocolate (“too bitter”), brand-new books (“too Christian”), etc. I told her that books and dark chocolate should not ever be thrown into the garbage; they should be given to me.

By: Sam Carrara

Sam Carrara — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:02:25 +0000

It is a delicate balance, but too much clutter can cause real anxiety. One easy way to reduce clutter is not to print out an email that you don’t need in paper form.

By: Pat

Pat — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:27:18 +0000

To joesky — isn’t sad that’s all those women have in their lives? An antiseptic house? A little mess is a small price to pay to have a happy visit with grandkids, I’d say!
Your approach is much healthier.

By: joesky

joesky — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:38:29 +0000

As a child, I grew up in a home where “cleanliness is next to godliness.” Every weekend was marked for chores all day and my parents who already worked 8-10 hours a day (plus Saturdays) spend whatever time was left (besides sleeping) to constantly cleaning. Needless to say, I grew up absolutely hating and DESPISING housework and organization. Now entering my 30′s with 3 children of my own, I’m just starting to see the benefits of trying to do a daily upkeep and keeping the house tidy. But this is years and years of barely doing housework because I absolutely dreaded it and the feelings I felt when I did clean. I even started because it was causing a significant strain on my relationship with my husband.

It’s true..everything in moderation. I feel good that I’m finally OK to say it’s ok to be tidy and not be neurotic. For those who are on the extreme side of neat freak-ness, you may be grooming your children to be the opposite. My mother to this day can’t enjoy time with her grandchildren because she’s constantly worried about the mess they may do. She follows them around the house and the moment they start touching toys, she’s already singing the “clean up” song. My MIL, who is worse than my mother (who would ever thought!!), has an immaculate house but I dread going there. I was eating brownies and some crumbs fell on the ground and while I was eating she was picking up the tiny crumbs on the kitchen floor in front of me. All I can say is its disurbing.

By: Perri Kersh

Perri Kersh — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:19:22 +0000

Erin, I felt like I was in good company when I saw you quoted along side me in the article. You never know how these things will sound once in print (especially my true confession about “Wrinkles”, my imaginary friend). I agree–it’s all about balance. Being uncluttered should enrich your life, not hold you back. I find that living with less frees me up to enjoy my family, friends and free time. Unclutterer keeps me inspired every day (and is great inspiration for a number of my clients).

By: MB

MB — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:11:01 +0000

Since we are in the process of selling our house it is the neatest and most clutter free that it has been in quite a while. I must admit it feels good to enter into the house when it is clean. It is also much easier to keep it clean with a quick pick-up than it is to put everything away once a week.

BUT, I do agree to an extent with the article that being too clean and organized can inhibit creativity… especially for children. My kids were the most creative when they dumped everything out and went at it. This was both with imaginative play and artwork.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:09:55 +0000

“All things in moderation”. No matter the category, extremes are typically a problem. Think workaholic v lazy bum. Think food junkie v anorexic. Think internet addict v technophobe. Think hoarder v neat freak.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 22:18:21 +0000

Nothing wrong with being a neat-freak – I wish I was more of one myself.

It all comes down to extremes on either side being problematic. If your situation is such that you can no longer enjoy yourself, it’s time to take a good hard look at your habits.