Comments on: Do you feel animosity toward others in your home about their disorganization?

By: Keter

Keter — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:30:33 +0000

@ Khürt Louis Francis Elliot Williams: Ouch! You *are* ticked…. I hope you and your SO sit down and go through the process described in this article, but the key here for you, I think, is to set aside resentment and listen. The symptoms you seem to describe are typical of someone who is deathly afraid of being poor or who has been very poor (the overbuying food thing is a powerful sign). I used to be like that and it takes a paradigm shift and a HUGE leap of faith to get over it. Facing anger won’t do it…talking it out in a caring manner might.

Talking it through in a caring manner also may help you determine if the problem is tending toward something more serious – hoarding disorder. You might want to look that up to learn its warning signs (the moldy food thing is one of them). If you suspect hoarding disorder, professional counseling is needed – and you need to go, too, because you’ll need to learn techniques that will empower you to be supportive and not enabling. Best wishes for an uncluttered future. )

By: Khürt Louis Francis Elliot Williams

Khürt Louis Francis Elliot Williams — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 17:33:20 +0000

Yes, I am pissed! At myself. For allowing the people around me to clutter my life. Even when I take on ( over ) tasks that are not being done I am agitated because I know that within a day my work will be undone. I live with a person who has trouble throwing out moudly food but who has no problem over buying ( she calls it cost saving ) at the grocery store. A person who laments that we need new dishes but refuses to toss out the chipped ones. Who has clothes from two pregnancies and four dress sizes ago but loves a sale. Aarrgh!!!

By: Juli

Juli — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:25:15 +0000

The Unclutterer Blogger said: “For starters, our visions weren’t that different. We both wanted a place for everything in our home. The difference was that I thought we needed a bigger home for all of our things, and he thought we needed fewer things for our current home.”

“….was that I wasn’t doing the few things that he wanted me to do and, as a result, he was dismissing everything else I was doing.”

OH! YOU ARE ME! That is so exactly our situation. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to go about resolving it as easily as you did, since my husband is not big on sit-down discussions – and who has time for them ANYWAY? We do, right now, have a tower of organizing bins (I LOVE THEM, but I may abuse the concept) stacked up, awaiting a final decision and purchase of a shed/barn/somewhere else to put stuff building.

By: 1husband2sons

1husband2sons — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 14:16:55 +0000

All I want is for my family to put away what they use. Is that too much to ask? Most clutter happens when things taken out are not put away. Why is this so daunting a task for some?

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:22:01 +0000

@Kate

We actually tried out ChoreWars…when I wound up with more experience points than everyone else in our party combined after a few weeks, I found it pretty discouraging on a level that no amount of virtual treasure or gold could counteract.

By: links for 2007-10-31

links for 2007-10-31 — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:46:12 +0000

[...] Unclutterer » Archive » Do you feel animosity toward others in your home about their disorganizati… (tags: gtd lifehacks relationships) [...]

By: Erin @ Unclutterer

Erin @ Unclutterer — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:24:23 +0000

@Kate — I totally agree!! That site is awesome

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:20:30 +0000

I give you CHORE WARS!!!!

http://www.chorewars.com/

Never had to use it, but doesn’t it look fun

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:43:33 +0000

I think one thing that helped your strategy work in your situation is that (to oversimplify somewhat) *you* were the one with the problem, and you were the one who took the initiative to come up with some solutions. Things would not have played out the way they did if you hadn’t that lightbulb moment when you realized you were creating unnecessary friction in your life and your marriage. If you’re on the receiving end of someone else’s clutter issues, it can be challenging to nudge them toward their own lightbulb moment.

By: Frank Rosquin

Frank Rosquin — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:13:07 +0000

I actually think that this is exactly what is required to make a marriage work.

Not how you did it, but THAT you did it. The fact that you saw a problem, and talked about it.

Well done ^^

By: Little Miss Moneybags

Little Miss Moneybags — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:31:50 +0000

This is so important.

I’m definitely more of a neatfreak than any roommate I’ve ever lived with, and it used to really bother me. A few years ago, I decided to let it go–it’s important to ME that things be a certain level of clean, so I have to keep it that way. My relationship with all my roommates since then improved dramatically.

But yeah, it’s still irritating. You know how some people are messy, but not dirty? My roommate is the opposite–she’s not cluttered or disorganized, but she won’t see a dust bunny till it walks up and bites her. She cleans her hamster cages only after I complain (that’s one thing I will NOT do). She has never scrubbed the shower since we moved in together. I try not to dwell on it, because if I lived alone, I’d still have to do the same work that I’m doing now, and it makes ME happy to have a sparkly bathroom or kitchen. That she benefits is a lucky break for her, but I can’t be resentful about the amount of work that I’m doing or we won’t be able to live together.